You Can't Keep Them Forever

The day has come. From the first held her I knew this day would eventually be here. Eventually I would have to take my little girl by the hand, walk with her to her first day of Kindergarten, give her a kiss on the cheek, tell her to do her best and then stand back and watch her become her own little person.

Even though I knew it was coming eventually, it didn't make it any easier when it was finally here. The couple of weeks and days leading up to her first day of school were rough on Mama. I found myself tearing up all the time. I just couldn't help but feel like letting her go to school was like losing a part of her. It is hard leaving your little girl for such a long time. School is from 7:55 - 2:15. That's a long day on anyone, especially a 5 year old and her mama. It makes me sad being away from her that much of the day. I feel like I have lost so much time to just Be with her, enjoy her, listen to her thoughts and watch her play. Perhaps I now appreciate and cherish my time with her in a way that I didn't before. Sure, it is quite a bit easier getting my errands and shopping and running around done with 1 less kid in the house. And I do very much enjoy my time with the boys....the chance to have more one on one time with each of them. But we all miss her energy and her spirit in the house when she is gone.

Makenna did great on her first day of school. She was definitely ready! Ready for the stimulation, the friends, the socialization, the learning. She had gotten a bit bored and stir crazy towards the end of summer which made it easier to accept her going to school.

The night before school started we found out the she was going to be in Mrs. Folks class. From what I had heard, Mrs. Folks was known to be an amazing, very good teacher with a lot of experience, and also a bit on the strict side. Mrs. Folks has high expectations of her students and their behavior and does not take a lot of slack. Initially I was a bit worried about this, but by the time we found out that this was going to be her teacher both Todd and I felt strongly that Mrs. Folks was actually the best fit for Makenna. And we both felt very blessed when we found out that she was in fact in her class. Makenna is the type that likes to push the line and test her boundaries. The idea of her having a teacher that makes her lines and boundaries Very clear and sticks to them is a great thing for Makenna. Plus, she is a very sweet and loving woman!

Kenna did good going to school on day one. She did get teary eyed a number of times (not too unlike her mommy, but her mama's tears were a little more in secret). She wanted to stay close to Todd and I, didn't initially want to go sit down with the other kids and had a hard time when she needed to say goodbye when the mommies and daddies left. But she recovered quickly and did well. She made a friend or two that she was able to stay close to and was able to dry her eyes and go be the big girls she was supposed to be. Since then she does better and better every day. She always gets a touch clingy and sad right before she needs to go to class, but with a kiss and some encouragement and as soon as she spots her friends she is off and on her way with perhaps only one or two looks back.

We are now about 2 weeks into Kindergarten. By Makenna's report is sounds like she is doing really good. She has made a couple of friends, Kara and Elli and gets excited to see them every day. She says that she has fun and that everything about school is exciting. She does complain that it takes "so long" and doesn't like that she has to go Every day other than the weekend. Like I said before, it Is a long day and I can understand her dislike for how long it is. But she seems to be doing good work, behaving well and having fun. She has a smile on her face every day when I pick her up and that to me is a good thing.

I do think that today we hit the "overtired, emotional kindergartner" phase. Everyone warned me about this and up until today she seemed to be doing pretty well. But from first thing this morning she was just tears after tears. Anything was offending her and making her sad or upset.

Of course today she did get in a little trouble once and was quite sad about it on our way home. Then tonight while we cuddled together in bed she told me a teary rendition about recess - That her friend Kara knows how to go across the monkey bars but she doesn't. That most kids don't know how to, but the monkey bars are her favorite thing and Kara is her best friend and it's not fair that Kara can go across and she can't! She continued to tell me that the teacher (duty) out during recess won't let her go on the monkey bars because she keeps falling and she might break her arm. But Makenna tries to go on them anyway and then keeps ending up on time out for not listening. She was upset because "if they never let me try then how can I learn? It's not fair!" (nothing is fair in Makenna's eyes these days!)

I did see her point, but I told her that she had to listen to the teacher and that it's not okay to be disobedient. I promised her that we would go to the park and practice until she could do it on her own. It may have been a dramatic re-telling, but I did feel bad for my little girl. And it was strange to hear about the struggles and battles she has when I am not there to help or intervene. But I guess that is all part of stepping into herself and growing up.

We love you Makenna. You are a good girl, a beautiful girl, a smart girl. We miss you so much but we are proud of you, what a good job you are doing and what a big girl you are becoming!