June!!!!

 This little girl already has the right idea....trying to fill her big sisters shoes! And I think she has a pretty amazing big sister whose footsteps she can follow in. Seriously, she adores her sister!!! And just about as equally, she LOVES shoes! Total girl in every way imaginable.

 Love these two together! Even if Conner makes her scream a lot because he tries to hug her and kiss her and cuddle her to the point of making her insane. But these two have such a sweet little friendship. And the older Carys gets and the more she interacts, the more I can see little mannerisms of Conners that she has picked up on and adopted. It is a good thing she will be starting preschool next year because she is going to be Sooooo sad when he goes to Kindergarten!

 You know you are doing something right int he way you are raising your kids when their lunch request is In-n-Out! At least we have that one covered. Phew!

TK has been Full of at home projects! Which Kellen has just eaten up. Near the end of the year the class was going to have a "drive in movie" day where each kid was to make a cardboard box car to bring in to class that they could sit in while watching their movie. Daddy helped Kellen spray paint the box white and cut out the top. And then Kellen did the rest of the designing! I was so proud of him. He picked the colors, painted it himself, helped make a grill and even had the idea to put a license plate on the back! Such a little stud!

 Conners was asked to draw a picture of his family for his end of the year book at preschool. This is what he drew. His teacher wrote the names for who each person was....Apparently Conner believes that our family is not quite complete.....

A few of my other favorites from Conner this year. He is a real developing little artist. For the longest time Conner could't have cared less about coloring or anything of the sort. But by the end of his first year of preschool he had really begun to enjoy and embrace coloring. So much so that crayons and paper and markers are now a permanent staple on my counter top. Funny how they each develop on their own and at their own time. And then suddenly they just get it!

 I was cleaning out my bedroom and found a big folder or Makenna's art work from 1st grade. As much as I would like to save everything that my kids do that I love, it just can't happen. Especially when those drawings are done in chalk. So next best thing, take a picture and save it!

This boy right here is one tough kid! I sometimes think that certain things in childhood are a right of passage. One of those things has to be a really good crash on your bike. And Kellen can certainly check that one off his list now. 

Kellen is probably my most cautious child. But even then, accidents happen. We were at the park with some friends and the kids were all riding their bikes around the path that went on the outside of the playground. Well, Kellen must have take a curve a little too close to the fence and I am assuming his handle bar got caught in the chain link fence...his bike crashed and he went sliding on the pavement.....face first. Thank goodness for helmets! This could have been really bad had he not been wearing one. There were lots of tears at first. I actually thought he had broke his wrist because he was holding his hand and screaming running over to me. But he must have gotten his finger caught in the fence between it and the handle bar because a couple of his fingers had lost a lot of skin and gotten scratched pretty painfully. There were even more tears cleaning off the wounds at the park and a deeper cleaning at home. But he handled it really well. The saddest part was that the next week was the last week of school and he was really embarrassed to have to go to school looking like this. Unfortunately kids can be mean, even without totally realizing it sometimes. Kellen is a sensitive kid. He is also not the type to really defend himself if someone were to tease him. I talked to his teacher to make sure she knew he was worried about it and sent him to school with a brave face on. Thank Goodness prayers were answered and no one gave him a hard time. If anything they thought he was pretty tough and cool!

Last Day of TK, still sporting his battle wounds! My how he has grown in one year!

Mrs Zarzan! By far one of my favorite teachers my kid have ever had! She is awesome! And I still think it is the sweetest thing how much she and Conner grew to love each other, just with their before and after school hugs! Glad that Carys will have her in a few years when she hits TK!

Shave Ice after school on the last day!

The way Makenna is with pets reminds me so much of myself as a kid. I can vividly remember having dogs sleep in bed with me and feeling like my dogs were practically pushing me out of the bed. But I just let them because I loved them too much and loved to cuddle with them. It's safe to say Makenna must feel the same. 

Another season at the sportsplex complete! She is really developing into an incredible soccer player. And its been neat to see it become something she really loves and looks forward to. This season at the sportsplex was the first time that she was always excited and didn't complain about practices every week. She looked forward to them anxiously! At the end of the season we talked and she decided she wants to play AYSO went it starts up at the end of August. She wants to play a long season again, so we will see how it goes. 

Those eyes and those lips! The color of her eyes keeps changing. Makes me curious what they will end up looking like!

Swimming day at Grammy's pool with our good friends the Knoops!

These kids had a great idea to make a lemonade stand as a way to earn money. So we put a date on the calendar and went into business with the neighbors. We had a bunch of lemons donated to us. We worked hard all afternoon squeezing lemons and making Really Amazing lemonade. We also baked cookies to sell. We set up our tables, advertised to our friends on Facebook and went to work. Believe it or not, these kids raised $45 in one afternoon! That combined with a big $20 tip from Grammy and these kids walked away with a  good chunk of change!

As a kid I remember having different school performances, sports events, things of the sort and thinking my parents just loved every second of them. That they just ate it all up! And you know, I think I was right. I absolutely LOVE this kind of stuff and am so grateful that at Fletcher Hills each grade has one that they do! I can't get enough!

Makenna's 2nd Grade performance....A bunch of really cute patriotic songs (that I still have memorized because we sang them in the car All the time while she was learning them!) And she was even one of the kids selected to have a reading part. It was just a couple of lines, but I was really proud of her for getting up there in front of the microphone with All those parents watching and doing a great job. Though Makenna is a little fireball and a really funny, silly, outgoing kid, she does have her very shy side. She did great and made us all very proud and happy for her!

 As a 2nd Grader Makenna was also old enough to participate in the schools Bike Rodeo. She was Soooooo excited! They set up a whole variety of obstacles for the kids to ride through, weaving in and out of cones, going in a straight line, going as slow as they could, as fast as they could, etc. She did amazing! Perfect actually. Scored the highest she could on every obstacle. But then again, what else would you expect from a McKamey ;) 

 Last T-Ball game of the year. This season was really good for Kellen. He learned a lot about the sport, had a lot of fun, improved as a player, learned a lot about what it means to play on a team sport, made friends and worked hard! I was really proud of what a great job he did. Though he was ready for the season to be over and take a little break, he is also excited to play again. I am glad that he has found something the enjoys and wants to keep working at! Way to go #11

 I LOVE that my mom has a job where we get Amazing seats to the Padres Games! Amazing Seats! This was Conner's first Padre Game and he was so excited about it. It happened to be retro jersey night, which made it even more exciting for them. 

 We did all the fun things that you are supposed to do at a ball game....Peanuts, Cracker Jacks, Churros.... We were so close to the field that balls were coming into the stands around us all over the place. The boys had brought their gloves and were just DYING to get a ball. I kept telling them that I had been trying to get a ball since I was a little kid and that it probably wasn't going to happen, but that it is fun to try!

 Well, Guess who got a ball? This cutie! There were two guys right behind us that caught a ball one of the Padres players threw into the stands as they were running into the dugout. And right away his buddy said "Give it to the kid!" It was so sweet! Lucky, lucky boy!

 Gosh these boys just melt my heart! What a lucky mama!

This little cutie has been wanting to practice on the potty. A lot! And though we are not ready to do the full on thing, it makes me smile to see some excitement and interest. What a big girl!

 Kellen's end of the season team party. The kids had a blast and his coach was super sweet. He wrote something about each individual player and what it was that they had contributed to the team. He said very great things about Kellen....that he was always working hard and giving 100% and could always be counted on the be doing his best to help the team out. He really is one great kid! Just look at that smile for mom!!

Mama's Boy

If you ever see this kid get away with more than he should, there is a good reason for it. This kid can sweet talk and melt his mothers heart like you wouldn't believe.

Tonight I was going back in the boys room to check on them while they were falling asleep. Kellen gets nervous at night in his bed these days, so I have an agreement with him that every 5 minutes or so I will go back in the room to check on him and make sure he is doing okay until he falls asleep. The only reason I can make an agreement like this is because that boy falls asleep FAST (a wonderful blessing he inherited from his father!) I don't normally have to go back in more than a couple of times. I also turn on some soft music for the boys to listen to that helps them fall asleep.

Tonight after I gave Kellen a kiss on the hand I bent down to give Conner another kiss on the cheek and he grabs onto my arm.

Conner: "Mom, this music reminds me of you"

Mom: "It does? Well that's good! Does it help you relax?"

Conner: "It makes me feel love. It makes me feel the way I feel when you are sitting next to me on the couch."

Can I keep you forever, Conner?

Nightly Prayer

When I was a kid our family had a tradition of saying a family prayer every night. And after that prayer we would go around the room in a circle, saying something nice about the person sitting next to you. It is something I loved and so a couple years ago we started it in our home too. Pretty much since the beginning this cute boy has had one compliment he gives out Every Single Night to whomever he is sitting by. The amazing thing is, even though he says it every night, it still manages to sound sincere every time. It doesn't feel like he is just saying it out of repetition and laziness. He really, genuinely means it. He says "Mom, I like playing with you and when you smile it makes my heart inside feel happy and you are the best mom ever." (recently he sometimes says "best (blank) on earth") It makes me melt every time. 

Makenna also uses this is her very common compliment, though she mixes it up sometimes and will also add on a little something extra at the end. You can always tell she is trying got be thoughtful!

 Conner....his is almost always something about how much he loves cuddling and resting with a person. He might very well be the most affectionate boy Ever!

I just had to write it down....so I always remember.

Mothers Day, MORE Disney and May 29th

 One of many things you quickly learn about motherhood: Just because it is mothers day, or any other holiday, does not mean that all your kids will smile and that you will get a good picture to remember said holiday by. Be happy with what you get. 

 I'm not going to tell Todd this (because I always like seeing what he tries to come up with as a mothers day gift) but really, getting home made tissue paper cards and silly questionnaires with hysterical answers, coupon books good for all kinds of household chores and hugs and kisses, pictures of my little ones and poems about how great of a mother I am....those are the things that make Mothers Day the best! I Love It! It makes Mothers Day contend for 1st place in the "What is your favorite holiday" poll!

 And my Mommy! Without this amazing woman....well, lets just say that there are no words that could ever come close to quantifying how much love, adoration, and respect I have for her! She is everything I could hope for and everything I pray to be someday. I am grateful that with all my shortcomings as mother, my kids at least have this amazing woman as a Grammy!

And then I was blessed again, to be given another Mother in my life and a Grandmother for my children that they absolutely adore. You wonder what your relationship will be like when you get married with your husbands parents. Well, I truly hit the jackpot here. I wish that we were closer so that I could spend even more time with Loretta and have her spend more time with the kids. But what I do know is that when I am with her I am happy and smiling and that she brings love and warmth and light wherever she goes. I know that my husband speaks of her with the gentlest of words and that he loves and adores his mother. Our kids are so blessed to have a Grandmother like her that loves and adores them and uplifts them. They love their Grandma so much and miss her every day. I hope with all my heart she knows how very much we think of her, how very much we look forward to their next visit and what an inspiration and example she is to all of us.

 Well, Disneyland called and said they missed us....so we just had to go back! And guess who was tall enough to sneak onto the Goofy Roller Coaster??? THIS GUY!

 Apparently going to Disneyland once with the McKamey's didn't scare them off completely, so they were crazy enough to ask for more. We were back at it at Disneyland with the Coniglios again! They must be glutton for punishment!!

 A very special thing happened on this particular Disney Trip. Our young padawans (is that way you call them??? Younglings? Mini-jedi's?....I'm still learning) took some tips from some kids we saw last time we were here. We made signs at home and brought them to Disneyland with us. Kellen said he wanted to just watch and see if they got picked and see how it went this time and then decide if he wants to do it again. Very typical Kellen move (MUCH like his Father!) So Con and Makenna waved their signs like made and sure enough the Jedi Master could sense the force and called them forward. 

 Makenna took the whole initial training exercises very seriously and had all the moves down fast! Conner, well, I think Conner was just a little in shock that he was wearing a robe and someone had actually handed him a light saber!

Sure enough we were attacked by storm troopers, Darth Maul and Darth Vader. What a dream come true for this little guy. I have to say, Conner LOVES Storm Troopers so much and wants so badly to be one, I was scared for a moment that he was going to walk on stage, drop his light saber and ask Darth Vader if he could join the dark side. But he resisted and fought courageously and the Jedi prevailed!

 Thank goodness for professional Disney Photographers and them always trying to get you to buy the pictures they take. Con and Makenna were sent to different lines. Conner's line was moving a little faster and it looked like he was going to go on stage to fight one person before Makenna was up. So when caught was fighting I had all eyes on him. As he was walking off stage I looked to find Makenna in line for her turn but instead saw her final attack on Darth Maul and then watched her walk off stage. WHAT?! Apparently the guy in front of her was having a hard time so they bumped her ahead and had her go first. I felt So, so, so bad! But we got a good picture and she took it with stride. I imagine this might not be her only battle defending the Jedi ways! (If you look close you can see Con up on stage behind her!)

 It was a hot one that day! Conner....you have no idea how often I feel exactly that way!

1 year used to seem like much longer than it does these days. I remember as a kid how SLOWLY time went by. PAINFULLY slow! I vividly remember (don't ask me why this was categorized as a childhood memory I must save!) waiting for us to have company show up from out of town and asking my mom how much longer until they would be here.. She said about 45 minutes, to which I asked how long that was and she said "About 1 and a half cartoons" And I remember wanting to cry....because 1 and an half cartoons seemed Soooooooo long and Soooooo far away. Now days 1 and a half cartoons seems like hardly enough time to run to the bathroom, move some laundry around, wipe a poopy bottom, break up an argument, grab the whining child a snack, get back to the laundry and bam, times up! Years are gone in a blink of an eye. My kids turn from babies, to feisty toddlers, to cute little kids, to sassy big kids while I panic watching them change so fast and try so hard to cherish every quickly passing moment, even though most days with 4 young kids it feels a lot like survival mode. But time slows down for no one. 

The time from May 29, 2013-May 29, 2014 feels strange. On one hand it feels the way it felt when I was a child. Time has sort of crawled along, painfully slow. Every day a reminder of what Papa is missing, of what I am missing with my Dad. Going through all those stages of grief (that we are always in denial we are in while we are going through them). Feeling sad each time I think "I have to call Dad and tell him this!" and then realizing he is not on the other end of the line anymore. Learning to get used to life without his physical presence has been a painful process....one that is still not fully complete. And I wonder more and more if it ever will be. In a way I hope it is not. I want to miss him. And though each passing day it seems like things do slowly get easier, it is not so much because the pain goes away. It is just that the pain becomes part of you. You know it is there, you are used to it, you recognize it, it has become a familiar "friend" if you will. And though it still brings tears, it's presence becomes more "normal" with each step forward. 

On the other had this year has flown by! It seems like only yesterday I was receiving that horrible phone call, and somehow it has been a year! The little baby that couldn't even crawl that my dad is holding on his lap on the last day I saw him, that baby is now walking and running and talking....and holding a sunflower and saying Papa's name and putting it by his grave. Not because she knows what she is doing, but because she knows how to mimic her older siblings. She knows Papa's name by seeing his face....but I cry because I know that that is All she really knows about him. At least until she is older and we can share our memories of him with her. But even then, all she will know and remember are a few pictures and other peoples memories. Makenna was in 1st Grade when he passed away and now she is in 3rd grade and being baptized. Seeing how fast time has gone by and how much we have already missed having him here with us for. I know he is close. I know this without any doubt in my mind. I know that he is always aware. Always watching. I know that my children have an angel guarding them that loves them with every fiber of his soul. And for that I am grateful and rest a little more at peace. But I miss him. We miss him. We will always miss him.

We spent May 29th remembering Papa. We visited him at the cemetery and talked about our favorite memories of him. The kids all said close to the same thing. They loved how much he played with him. How nice he was. The things he would send them to show them he missed them. That he played with them. That he played with them. That he played with them. It is amazing how much of a relationship with a child is built upon the time you are willing to take to stop and play with your child. I need to remember this. I need to do better.

After that we went to the beach. We ran on the sand and played in the water. Papa loved the beach. It is where he spent his last day on this earth, collecting sea shells with a friend for his grandkids. We ate sandwiches at The Cheese Shop, an amazing sandwich place in La Jolla where Sarah, Dad and I would always stop and get sandwiches and then come and eat as a picnic at the beach. We played frisbee on the lawn until Kellen stepped on a bee and got stung. We had fun. We laughed. We enjoyed nature and enjoyed life. The way that Papa always did!